Dear God,
Today was a rather big day for me as far as this blog goes. I officially shared this, page with others. It feels big because of the fact that others can now locate these letters, which is the point! Although the thought is lingering, of others opinions. Yet at the end of the day it doesn't matter because those who like it, like it and those who don't - don't. I know who I'm doing this for... myself and my relationship with the only One who matters.
My emotions we're all over the place today, because one: my daughters seemed to be tired obviously before nap time and then right after! They were throwing tantrums, which sometimes it's hard for me to cope with. We get through it though, it's just in the moment! I find myself asking, You My Lord for patience all the time. At the time I pray for this tool, the feeling and example of working out to gain muscle come to mind. Because I ask for patience, yet instead of working towards achieving it, i expect for me to ask and for you to deliver. Which you are! Just not the way I want. I've found my plan and yours aren't the same, almost ever. Perhaps the end goal is just not the journey there. As a result I have become fond of this, actually! So now when I catch myself asking for patience, I remind myself the hectic moments with my girls or just on a daily basis IS what i need to attain the patients i want.
During nap time, I was listening to a sermon about Lazarus, a man who was Jesus' good friend. Who Jesus raised from the dead after four days. Well this Pastor, Tim Ross (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-can-get-me-out-of-here-fun-month-tim-ross/id1348831124?i=1000571020091 ) spoke so beautifully. I had in the past briefly heard about Lazarus' story but not this way. Pastor Tim said Jesus can and will take you out of here... but he won't do anything you can do. He will only do what you can't. That right there. Got me! Because anyone who knows of Jesus would want him to do miracles for them. To answer all the prayers they pray for. Which okay, I get it. Jesus CAN get us out of anything and that's exactly what we expect. But again I'll say, he will not do what we can do for ourselves in whatever the situation maybe. For the sake of clarity, in Lazarus story Martha and Mary put him in a tomb the same day he died , as per their culture. When Jesus showed up he asked where Lazarus was and they told him. He made them do everything they could do, like remove the rock THEY placed then he came in and did what only he could do! Which was raise him from the dead.
It resonated with me in so many different ways! Especially when I pray for financial freedom, when I pray to break generational poverty. There's times I feel or expect for it to just happen, without me doing everything I can do to make it possible. Jesus is laying it all down in front of me, it's just a matter of me doing my part and taking the first step, just as pastor Tim said.
I love your word, My Lord. I love it for many reasons but the one I'm in awe with this moment is that so many people can have a different interpretation of the same verse.
Thank you for allowing us all to have our own mind and our own way of understanding everything. Thank you Lord for doing the things that I can't do. While allowing me to do what I can.
Yours Truly.
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